Sunday, June 22, 2008

These feelings of sadness usually come and go. They usually hit suddenly and leave suddenly. Today it has a sticking feeling. I rarely miss my old life unless I really think about it. Today I woke up with a terrible sad feeling. I am not sure where this originated from. Maybe I just miss my best friends. Maybe I just miss my mom. Maybe I miss the little things about the town I used to love. I just had a realization that it's not the same here and it won't ever be. I am becoming more seclusive and lonely. Being lonely never much bothered me before. It's weird how being surrounded by other people can make you feel more lonely. It's usually when you are always surrounded by people you know but not really. I think this is where my loneliness is coming from. It's tiring never really feeling in. It's also a feeling of being sick of the same people doing the same thing. It comes from the endless nights where random boys you have no interests in refuse to really understand you're the not the kind of girl they are used to. The feeling of having boy after boy make failing attempts when the one boy you kinda sorta really liked/like doesn't like for as you know. Cause for me....I don't mention these feelings or say them a loud. It's too real to do that. This sadness comes to the fact that I am always wanting what it is I don't have. I am missing the little things that I used to hate. I am missing some of the reasons that I hated Boise. This is just my random feelings of sadness. They usually come and go.

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